It was one of those kinds of events that you remember exactly where you were. It wasn’t some jolting national or international tragic event. In those cases, the event and your location are different. In this case, they were the same place – at my small desk in the 2nd grade classroom of Holy Rosary Grammar School.
We were being introduced to writing in cursive. I’m not sure they even teach cursive anymore, but on this particular day, I was loving this more vibrant expression of curves, and swooshes, and dips never seen in the more mundane and predictable printed letters of the alphabet. We had learned each of the letters – capital and small – and on this morning we were starting to learn how to write words in this cursive style. Unlike the printed version of words, the thing I loved most about the letters in cursive words was that …
They all connected.
The teacher had printed several words on the blackboard and instructed us to convert the printed version of the word into cursive on our lined paper. As we were working on these words, she printed a rather long sentence to the right of the list of the words and directed us to write the sentence in cursive once we had finished the individual words.
And then it hit me – this was a trick assignment since she had never instructed us on how to write a sentence in cursive. Being overly enthusiastic, in a moment of brilliance, I quickly reasoned that if the letters in a word all connected, then the words in a sentence surely must all connect too. It wasn’t easy, but I kept my pencil to the paper as I repetitively looked up to the board and down to my paper taking in each word and recording the sentence in one long continuous cursive expression.
I was feeling great about this moment of brilliance until the teacher slowly passed-by my desk glancing down at my paper … and paused. As she tried to process my unbroken expression of the entire sentence, the tone of her response was unforgettable as she blurted out much too loudly: What are you doing? I innocently replied that I was writing the sentence in cursive. To which she burst out laughing.
The laughter was like a knife cutting through any joy of connection.
No doubt, my sentence looked like a crammed-up mess. It gave a whole new meaning to a run-on sentence. Yet, rather than celebrating my moment of creativity that had gone off the rails, she chose to use it as an example to teach the entire class on how to not write a sentence in cursive. I’m certain no one else in the class needed that lesson because it probably never dawned on any of them to connect the words in the first place! I had just gotten a little ahead of myself and taken a wrong turn.
Yet, what the teacher said next was quite helpful: The space in-between is important. I would, years later, come to realize there is a big difference between connecting and cramming.
This experience all came rushing back to me in a recent Facebook post by my friend Jennifer when she reposted a meme by writer, Barton Swaim: Dear friends older than 37 … you don’t have to put two spaces after a period anymore. That was for the typewriter era. You’re free!
Obviously, this meme was written by someone who never sat in a high school typewriter class where “period-space-space” was as automatic as breathing. For me, two spaces after a period is a deeply ingrained muscle memory induced by the terror of those timed typing tests.
And, yet, this meme is accurate. In an age of electronics, “they” say you should use one space after a period. Not two. And “they” don’t seem to be in the mood to negotiate a both/and on this spacing. Those who believe in this “one space” theory say that’s the way it is – period!
But I’m not falling for it this time. I am not going to get ahead of myself thinking that this is a trend or a slippery slope headed toward using no spaces after a period! I mean, seriously, you give-up one space and then what’s to say that you will eventually give-up all of the spaces! After all …
The space in-between is important.
Yet, it did get me thinking! After all, one space or two … what’s the point? The truth is that not every sentence is the same. So why is the space in-between always the same? Maybe each sentence deserves its own unique and authentic space at the end. Why not two spaces, or three or four … or even seven? If the space is important then, maybe, periodically we should allow it to actually mean something! But, there I go getting ahead of myself again and I’ve learned that lesson.
Could it simply be that, in fact, there-in lies the problem. We don’t give enough space between our thoughts. And especially between our thoughts and responses. I know one second grade teacher that just might agree. It could be the discovery of a great paradox – it is in the space that we bring a greater connection.
As a final note: In full disclosure, I have been working very hard to break my “period-space-space” muscle memory and only use one space after each period. If nothing else, I let it metaphorically remind me how hard it can be to break a habit. I have checked and rechecked this article to be sure there is only one space after each period. And, yes in editing, I had to eliminate several double spaces. But I’m working on it. I must also confess; I never ever write in cursive except when I’m required to do so with my own signature. My adult children will tell you I have the nicest printing in the world. Now they know why – a traumatic experience in the second grade. It was enough to make anyone want to stick with printing!
As always, I would love to hear your thoughts, insights, and reflections. As you SHARE BELOW, you can use however many spaces you want after the periods!
As my 8h grade drafting teacher was quick to point out, “Printing is done by a machine What we are doing is ‘lettering!'”
Buzz … a good point. I am now going to consider myself a neat letterer. 🙂
Hello, John,
As one who has written many pieces for oral delivery (speeches, audio and video scripts, etc.) I believe that in those cases, some spacing between sentences is vital for listener comprehension. They are unable to skip back and re-read it. It is “let it sink in” time and the argument could be made for writing that will be silently read. It gives the reader a nanosecond to process the sentence just read. Before going to the next thought. Which I know is not a complete sentence, but demonstrates my point. I think.
Jack … all so true. And you would know. I love it … let it sink in! In a world that wants the next thought, so often very little is sinking in. Thank you for sharing!
Two Spaces. Andersen trained you properly.
Richard … SO TRUE. And I’m forever grateful for that … and so grateful we met in our youngest years learning together there! I hope you are doing well.
John, I learned the space, space from Mrs. Myles in 10th grade. We listened to polka music as we typed. I will keep the space, space for 3 reasons: 1. It is best to pause before moving on to the next thought. 2. Mrs. Myles said to use 2 spaces after a period. 3. The space, space works best with polka music. Loved this today!
Amy … beautiful on every level. Great reasons to keep on spacing and dancing away. Thank YOU for sharing.
Yes, the space is important. Just like the space between our thoughts. I refuse to give up any more space. I will always have 2 periods in my typing. Both because it is a muscle memory, but more importantly, there was a brain processing reason for doing that. There needs to be space between the words for understanding. There needs to be MORE space between thoughts for more understanding, perspective, and processing time. Our brains process that space. We are altering the brains of younger people by how we script them on these screens. It is the space in between that creates understanding.
Michelle … great words of advice celebrating the space in-between and why it is important both on paper AND as we speak. Thank you for so thoughtfully sharing.
John, first of all congrats for 20 years on The Porch! (1 or 2 spaces after an exclamation point?)
I’ve wondered why your notes are always printed so beautifully instead of written in cursive. All these years later and now I know 🙂
The space between things is sacred to me…..like the space around art on museum walls, the fermata in a music piece, and the silence in conversation with good friends. All are beautiful contributions to my overall experience!
The John O’Donohue book To Bless The Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings is one of my all-time faves!
Looking at my comment, I certainly haven’t left much space, oops!
Mary Jo … as always, thanks for sitting with me on “the porch” across each of those 20 years. Hard to believe, right? Haha – YES, you have seen a few of my printed notes. Now you know why. The good news in printing inside of notes and cards, no one can tell if you are thinking one space or two spaces! Thank you for sharing on the “space between things” and about John O’Donohue’s book. Sounds like a true celebration of the space! As always, thank you for sharing.
Brought back many memories, John. Not many should endeavor to become teachers, for they have an exaggerated influence on young lives. I remember a 5th grade teacher joking with another teacher about my ignorance of a type of flower in our yard. All these years later and I still can almost feel the pain and humiliation I felt back then.
Mark … you make a great point and so well said: teachers make an “exaggerated influence” — a wonderful responsibility and opportunity. And like all of us, sometimes we just don’t get it right. I’d say enjoy the beauty of the flowers in whatever name you want to give them … those names were made-up anyway. :)))
I am sure, like many others who just read your blog, I started typing and realized my habit of period…space…space. Habits are always so hard to break and this one will be a challenge for me. (space space). The space in between is important, it allows us to pause and perhaps rethink our next statemen and for me that is my opportunity to make a greater connection.
Kathy … all so true. Habits are hard to break, but then again, some habits are not meant to be broken. Here’s to both space and connection. Thanks for sharing. I hope you are doing well.
Your story reminded me that I had to go through that tough learning curve too. It was rugged but for someone who lives by the written word, very necessary. But the bigger part of the story brought back a memory when I was in college thinking I was going to major in humanistic psychology instead of journalism which would become my major of choice the following year. But before I arrived at that epiphany, I helped a professor with a research project by interviewing every other professor on campus. I don’t remember the topic or the questioning but the interviewing process was what solidified my desire to eventually become a journalist and reporter. I would ask questions and wait for the answer. I remember distinctly interviewing a Japanese professor who took a very long time to answer my questions. At the end of the interview he practically went ballistic saying that I was the first American who ever waited for him to give answers. He said our culture is in a mad dash to fill in the gaps and not really listen. He said Americans generally are so uncomfortable in silence and feel like they have to fill the void. He said in our culture, it is polite to pause as long as it takes to wait for a person to think about an answer, gather their thoughts and then speak. I never forgot that lesson and some of my best interviews were when I took the time to not interrupt and wait for the answer. Maybe that’s why it was so hard for me to give up the double spacing. And maybe it’s that way for you too. So it’s OK.
Ellen, I can relate to the story of your Japanese professor. I lived in Japan many years and the pregnant pause, as I call it, was key in communications in business and in developing relationships. Once I introduced my Indian yoga guru from America and my Japanese aikido master to each other in Tokyo. I was to interpret for them, however, they did not speak, just drank tea for half an hour. Afterwards, I commented to my guru that I was ready to translate but nothing was said. He replied, “Oh, we were definitely communicating in the silence.”
Ellen … no doubt you were wired and destined from college to search for truth in your journalist ways. I am so glad you found your way into that research project on campus, for it sure led to quite the adventure beyond. What a GREAT STORY of your interview with the Japanese professor and his shining the light on your “wait” … no surprise that he was surprised. The EAST is so much more conscious of this than us in the WEST. Makes me want to put more spaces … not less! Thanks for sitting with us on “the porch” this month and sharing your insights!
I smiled as you triggered the memory of learning to write cursive. (You often do that with your writing.)
Also love the idea of spaces. It’s a reminder to take a deep breathe, look around, be thankful, smile.
Thinking of your teacher made me wonder if I’ve ever unknowingly stunted someone else’s creative juices. I sure hope not, but I probably have.
That aside, I’m inspired (you often do that, too) to help others find spaces when life turns into a run-on sentence.
Manny … no doubt we have all stunted someone or some thing along the way … in your case, you have much more likely inspired creativity, hope and vision in those you have had the opportunity to know and lead. YOU and YOUR WRITING have a way with that. 🙂
Love this! And I just double spaced without realizing it, and have now deleted that extra space! I too grew up in the era where two spaces were mandatory in typing, and I remember trying to convince my teens that they must double space after a sentence, despite their refusal to do so. Thank you for sharing how a somewhat traumatic experience as a second grade student led to a deeper appreciation of the “space between” – no mater how big or small.
IdaLynn … thanks for sitting with me on the porch again this month! I know your teens have now become wonderful young adults … I’m sure continuing to teach in new ways and that there are more ways! I still say there is merit to a little more “space between!” 🙂
Great story, John. The spaces, just like the pauses in speaking, have impact and meaning. You turned it into a lesson you remember. My cursive story is also a lesson. I was always a straight “A” student, except for once when I landed a “B” in 4th grade penmanship. I told my mother it was difficult to write with good form. She knew me well. She said, “Just slow down.” Note: I used only one space after each period. I was listening.
Harriet … sounds like your mother was full of wise advice. It is amazing how “slowing down” can make everything look more beautiful … including our writing!
John, I am left handed. My handwriting is still atrocious. Sr. Jarvella gave me hell in 2nd grade. flying back tonight. TLk shortly
Brian
Brian … funny the things we remember! Look forward to connecting soon. Keep writing however it looks. 🙂
John, you never fail to inspire me to dig deeper into seemingly ordinary moments to glean the more significant life lessons. I never imagined that when I posted the meme and my preference (Hi! I’m Jennifer and I’m a single spacer!) that such a delightful discussion would ensue. Some cited the imprint of high school typing class, for others it was a matter of visual preference, and even a few vowed that there would be no “old dogs” learning new tricks. As I chuckled at the responses and recalled the bond I share with each person, I couldn’t help but recognize that this conversation about spaces had created a space for us to connect, challenge and even laugh a bit. Something sorely missing these days!
I am hopeful that as we enter into the pause we’ll discover more opportunities to create, engage with and grow in the critical spaces between us. One space, two spaces, long periods of silence…may we work to listen for understanding, overcome the compulsion to share everything we think, and discover the richness of the in-betweens!
Jennifer … (YES … THE JENNIFER) Thanks for lighting the pilot light of a wonderful exploration of spaces well beyond the period. And thank you for sitting on “the porch” with us too. Your sharing above adds wonderful new insight into the conversation and more for all of us to ponder. Thank you for sharing on your FB page and on THE PORCH too!
John, I’ll forever be a double spacer, and find that double spacing between sentences gives the correct amount of white space for readability. I encourage you not to change your double spacing habit!
Lovedthisarticleandhowyouconnectedwordstoformasentencewhenyouwereinsecondgrade.
Gina … woo hoo for your double-spacer commitment. Andsogladyoulovedthisarticle. :)) Thank you for sitting on “the porch” and sharing with us!
Goodness, gracious and holy cow. So glad you didn’t venture into the whether or not to use the Oxford comma. space, space. You’d really have a mess on your hands!
John … haha! And great to see you hanging-out on the porch with me!! No way I’m going down the path of the Oxford comma. There is not enough space in the world for that controversy!! 🙂