We don’t go running away from our values, we go drifting away. And one day we wake up in a place we never meant to be, drifting in a direction we never would have chosen. I originally wrote these words at a table in a Starbucks while writing my book Good to the Core. I had no idea they would become the most called out words of the book, although I suppose I should have sensed it just from my own life’s journey.
I was recently asked by a friend to speak to his leadership class of eighth-grade boys. It wasn’t my typical corporate audience of executives and so I was a bit apprehensive whether these middle schoolers would find my message on core values interesting or relevant. I wasn’t prepared for the depth of their engagement or for the wisdom of one particular student in the closing question/answer session. He posed a thoughtful and brilliant question to which I was certain he had already figured out the answer. He said, “Mr. Blumberg, do you think other people see you drifting before you see it yourself?” I would urge every leader to remember his question. I think we all know the answer.
We don't go running away from our values, we go drifting away. Share on X
How would you have responded to his question? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
All it takes is to simply look in the mirror like one does everyday. If you don’t recognize that individual looking back at you a change has taken place inwardly. One does not even need a mirror your conscious will tell you that you are not the same person as before.
Hopefully, you have not drifted to far and you can get your inward compass to get you back on a proper glide path.
Whether you recognize the drift in yourself before someone else does might be a question of whether you have consciously chosen small compromises in your values that eventually lead to large gulfs or whether you have unwittingly compromised your values by choosing not to choose or not recognizing the incongruence of a choice with who you really want to be. Catching the drift requires a level of self-reflection and honesty and the vulnerability to admit mistakes and ask forgiveness that can be difficult to do.
I think sometimes we cannot tell we’re drifting because of the ‘fog’ we are living in. It becomes hare to see the shore. Remember fog is almost always thicker horizontally than it is veritably. The drift may depend on which way you are looking.
My answer would be – it depends. It depends on who you have chosen to surround yourself with – if they are honorable the answer is yes and vice versa. It depends upon the company you are working for – if the environment is one of caring for their workers well being then your co-workers may notice but, if it is an environment of kill or be killed for that promotion then they probably will not notice. In short we, individually, are responsible for not only ourselves but for what situations we choose to expose ourselves to and it is incumbent upon only ourselves to establish the core values for our adult life and hold to them. So, if we don’t recognize the drifting in ourselves we may have never have established said values.
A leader listens and watches for for signals of the drift, for subordinates often send those signals with their own behaviors.