Every now and then, the focus on just one word can invite you on a reflective journey. Especially when it’s a 4-letter word! Recently, this was the case for me as I read a daily reflection on how – and how often – we use the word TAKE.
I had never really “taken” the time to think about this before. And long after I had put this original daily reflection aside, I couldn’t stop thinking about this simple word and how I use it – or maybe, more importantly, how I misuse it. As is often the case, when I misuse something — consciously or subconsciously – it’s inevitable that eventually it misuses me.
I kept thinking about my take on this.
As hours rolled into days, a plethora of examples of “take” kept coming to mind. Not ill-intended examples (although a few of those came to mind) but rather the innocent kind where we can pay the highest price – or perhaps miss the greatest opportunity. In full-disclosure, and with fair warning, once you start thinking of examples it will be hard to stop … unless of course, you take a break! How often have you said or heard:
- Take a vacation
- Take a photograph
- Take a nap
- Take a day off
- Take questions
- Take input
- Take a moment
- Take on something
- Take a stand
- Take the opportunity
- Take advantage of someone
- Take someone for granted
- And maybe most telling … take possession.
While it’s one thing to think of examples, it is another to think of unintended implications – specifically how taking something, well, can take the joy away!
While I realize this seems conceptual, maybe it has very practical significance. Let’s “take” the first example from the list above:
How often does someone “take” a vacation only to feel the stress of making the most of it in trying to “take” the most from the experience. It’s no wonder that some people say they had to come home to rest-up after their vacation.
Our take can imply control-of or power-over.
The second example from the above list may be even more telling – taking a photograph. It’s no wonder, in some cultures, why it’s considered offensive to take a photo of someone. And taking it a step further, in some pre-modern cultures, taking a photograph of someone was considered the equivalent to stealing their soul.
When I see a great photographer at work, it doesn’t seem to me that they are taking anything. As I watch them, it seems much more like they are receiving the image into their lens – and ultimately into their soul.
Our “taking” may also explain the root cause of some miscommunication. How often have you heard someone say: Well that’s not how I took it! Yep, there we go taking again.
I’ve always heard that it is better to give than receive. While there is some wonderful truth in that, this can shade a deeper truth … it can be much harder to receive.
What if we quit taking so much and just opened ourselves up for receiving? Could it be that gratitude and joy — and even more importantly, connection – would come from that? Receive the image in the lens of the camera. Receive each experience on a vacation. Receive the words in a conversation. Even in concept, you might start to find that “taking” feels like a grab.
Receiving feels like a flow.
While it may seem like a simple play on words, it has the possibility of compelling ramifications – in leadership, in teamwork, in collaboration, in relationships and, most importantly, in the deepening of our own individual and collective integrity.
If you think of examples long enough, you won’t only know the difference – you will feel the difference. What if John Denver had changed just one word in Take Me Home Country Road. “Bring Me Home” may have moved this already inspiring song to a whole new level of invitation … to a sense of being received rather than taken. Those of you who love this song may be thinking: You have just taken this a bit too far!! That could be … or it could be that it might just take a bit of unlearning and relearning these familiar lyrics before it seems to fit. That is the uncomfortable journey of any transformation.
In the end, receiving rather than taking may very well open our eyes to see everything in life as a gift – a gift always to be received, yet never to be taken.
What’s your take on this? As always, I’d love to hear your examples and insights. PLEASE SHARE below.
Love this concept…of receiving rather than taking. It reminds me immediately of a good friend of yours and mine – Janice Rubin. After meeting Janice and spending time with her (way back in 1995), I realized that she would phrase things in a different way: I “get” to babysit, I “get” to take a vacation, I “get” to help out a neighbor. She presents the “doing” as a gift she is receiving. I loved that and started hearing myself say – I get to do this rather than I’m taking time to do this or that. So needless to say, I love your thoughts on taking…and seeing that word through a different lens…that we really are receiving things that may truly become gifts in our lives.
IdaLynn … that is such a healthy concept and isn’t that just like Janice living with a mindset that I “get” to. Love it! So glad she shared that with you long ago … and you shared it with all of us today!!
The example of receiving Communion vs taking Communion comes to mind. “Taking” Communion seems brief, in an instant. I take Communion and return to my pew, and say a few prayers. However, when I “receive” Communion I hold the body of Christ close to my heart and then spread that love to others in my daily life. I receive only to pour it upon other.
Sue … Thank you for sharing your meaningful example of receiving and the difference it makes for you!
Take vs Receive. I love this, John.! Great examples. Here is my short story. In Japan, there is a custom of receiving help, even it you do not need it. Called “amae” it allows a relationship to develop. So instead of the thought of “taking” someone’s time or help, you are really “giving” them the opportunity to help you, and “receiving” a deeper connection. While living in Japan for many years, I learned how to move from independent woman to an integrated part of the group. (By the way, I listened to “Take Me Home Country Roads” when I was homesick.)
Harriet … thank you for sharing your wonderful personal example and how “receiving” is “giving” that leads to a deeper connection. In deepening our understanding of integrity (integrated) it all leads back to connection! And YES, I can see why “Country Roads” is the perfect medicine for curing the homesick … and most anything else too! 🙂